Keri Bower has graciously passed this on for us to share with you. Please visit her website for more information and additional resources
MAPPING TRANSITIONS TO YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE for
FUTURES PLANNING WITH YOUR CHILD OR CLIENT
Your Mapping Plan Will Consider:
1. HEALTH AND SAFETY GOALS 2. SOCIAL GOALS 3. RELATIONSHIP GOALS 4. RECREATION AND FREE TIME GOALS 5. FINANCIAL GOALS, include estate planning, Medical, Social Security, etc. 6. WORK/CAREER GOALS 7. PERSONAL GOALS, CONTRIBUTIONS TO SOCIETYMapping should be done WITH your family. It is an ongoing process that evolves over time. So, here are your free strategies to support YOU and your child.
STRATEGY 1
ABC’s of Improved Communication and Collaboration; Review Your:
A. Attitudes; Acceptance and Actions B. Beliefs and Behaviors C. Consistency and CommunicationLooking at Your Own Attitudes, Beliefs, and Communication - Our attitudes, beliefs and communication skills have powerful effects. We reveal our attitudes and beliefs in the way we communicate
– verbally and non-verbally. 85% of what people “hear” us say is communicated through our non-verbal communication; body language; tone; facial mannerisms
– those things communicated to others that are not actual words. Only 15% of what people “hear” you say is through the spoken word. Attitudes are not permanent. What are your attitudes toward the people you work with on your team?
Taking a look at you…
On a scale of 1-10; 10 being most, and 1 being least, circle the number that best reflects where you are at.
1. Fear often guides my actions
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
2. I often blame God, or other factors for my
child’s condition
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
3.
I often blame myself for my child’s condition
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
4.
I feel guilty about my child’s condition
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
5.
My child’s condition is a reflection of me
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
6.
I am angry about my child’s disability
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
7.
I am resentful about having to deal daily with disability
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
8.
I am at a loss to do the work ahead of me
and don’t feel strong enough to do
it
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
9.
I reach out and ask for support from others
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
10. I
try to find the joy in everyday things
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
11.
I am easily able to forgive people, places and things
that
go “wrong” in my life
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
12. I
seek to open up my mind to new ideas and values
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
13. I
can admit when I am wrong
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
14. I
give credit where credit is due
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
15. I
am a team player; a collaborator
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
16. I
am a good listener with others
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
17. I
am a positive person
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
18. When things go wrong,
I am able to find the strength to face
them and find a solution
1 2
3 4
5 6
7 8
9 10
19. I
am able to admit my faults or weaknesses
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Take look at your answers. How do you feel about your answers? Are you confident that you are connected to yourself? To others? To the successes you want in your life?
Only YOU can answer these questions for yourself.
Utilizing the Arts for Success
STRATEGY 2
Film Your Child to Help Them Create Their Plan
Start at the earliest or latest age…Give your child the responsibility of expressing their wants and needs in relationship to these questions. At what level are they able to communicate their wants and needs? Using a camera to help find the expression or language to demonstrate what they want and need is an excellent tool.
Filming your child can also be used to help them “SEE” their behavior in an entirely new way. In order to achieve the most ambitious goals – our children need to become self-aware and self-determined. Helping them to see themselves as others see them in a loving, respectful way promotes this awareness.
STRATEGY 3
Have Your Child Draw the Plan
Allow the creative juices to flow and have your child draw their perfect future. Ask specific questions “Where is Mary going to work?” If it is in a Nursery caring for plants, have them draw themselves in a Nursery, a book or pet store, or as an artist. Continue to use art as an expression of emotions and often unspoken words as they grow. Revisit their drawings. Allow art to become a voice for what they may not be able to express. The more your child connects to the ability to express their wants and needs in a creative and non-threatening way, you will be amazed at the stories their work will tell and continue to tell as they grow. Even when expressive language is present – especially during the troubled teenage years, visual expression can speak louder than words. Look at colors, characters, themes, use of space, and notice where the artwork leads in time. SING THE PLAN!
Have Your Child Join an Acting Workshop, School play, Park/Recreation, or YMCA Drama Program
The pure essence of drama is self-expression. What better place to develop in these areas: social, pragmatic, conceptual, behavioral, modeling, spatial, sensory, esteem, and endless other possibilities in development. Consistent and with good communication with the facilitator of such a program, your child can and will begin to develop in areas of need.
Use Music to Create Connections
Music can help children
communicate and give them enjoyment, sometimes despite the most severe
disabilities. A number of organizations are dedicated to making it
possible for all children and young people to have an experience of
music. Some of these use the latest advances in information technology
in their work.
Music
can reach people at any level. You don't have to have a high
appreciation of music, it's just a fun way of communicating, a relaxed
way. And through that you can learn some of the things that come very
hard to these children, sharing, taking turns, listening, all sorts of
skills. Make up songs that call into action lessons you’d like your
child to adopt and learn.
STRATEGY 4
RAPID FIRE IMPROVISATION
What is RFI?
I adapted Rapid Fire Improvisation from a method I learned in a speaker’s boot camp in the mid-1990s. The purpose of the boot camp was to improve our skills as public speakers. Our instructor would select an object or thing in the room and we would speak about the object as quickly as possible, saying anything and everything we could think of about the object for 1 minute. With practice, I noticed that I could think on my feet very quickly during my speaking engagements in a way I had not been able before taking the workshop.
Years later, when I was facilitating summer camps and social skill groups, I pulled the exercise out of a hat one day and began to use the improvisation exercise with the kids. One girl in particular, Krista, had a difficult time with language. She was pedantic, with words coming out slow and monotone. Her responses to a typical question needed to be strung together with a great deal of effort to keep her flow steady. She was interested in the exercise and had a lot of fun in our groups when we did the work so I asked her parents if they would allow me to work with Krista in a more specific way to see if it improved her speech and language abilities.
As a freshman in high school, Krista wanted to make new friends very badly, but had no idea how to go about it. What to say and how to say it made her confused and anxious. But she desperately wanted to be a part of the girls on campus. We worked for months on this process. The outcome was that teachers, people in the community and friends began to ask her parents how she had improved her ability to talk with others. “Krista seems to have come out of her shell. She’s so much more animated.”
Krista and I enjoyed our time together and the exercises were more like a game than work. Turning Rapid Fire Improvisation into a game with your child is an excellent way to make it fun, entertaining, and educational. The benefits I have seen in the children I have worked with include:
-
-core connections to the brains synopsis
-
-exercising brain muscles and memory connections
-
-connection to observing and really "seeing"
-
-speed and verbal agility.
-
-comprehension
-
-language development
-
-thinking on your feet
I worked with Krista for 4 months 1 x per week, while at the same time I had her mother doing 3 improvisations each night just before Krista went to bed – a more calm and suggestible hour of the day. After a couple of weeks of perfecting her ability to speak about an object with more definition and pace, I introduced a new strategy. We would work at her computer with the camera, pretending the camera was a girl at school she admired and wanted to get to know. I would put objects behind the camera that were girl friendly (a necklace, scarf, telephone, etc.) so that Krista could focus on things of interest to other girls.
The goal of filming Krista was to allow her to see herself as others see her. We would talk about what she was feeling when she needed to look away. Krista began to develop both speech and eye contact through this method. Eventually we sent Krista out into her school community to “practice” on a real girl. The result was that Krista attended most football games, proms, dances, and other activities with peers on campus throughout her high school life. Krista is in college today in Washington State.
I don’t make scientific claims with this process, but am hoping to get others – experts in the field of speech to look at this more critically as a strategy for language development. Here how RFI works:.
Rapid fire works like this:
Select an object - any object in the room. e.g., a light switch, drapes, bed, flowers, closet, etc.
2. As quickly as you can say everything and anything you can think of about the object. Talk about the object in a firm voice, do so for 30 seconds at first, evolving to 1 minute per object or thing. A “thing” may evolve into concepts, for example, such as making friends, taking turns, playing a game, etc.) But until you learn how to facilitate and your child learns how the game is played, I recommend you start out with objects.
e.g., THE LIGHT SWITCH - "The light switch is attached to the wall next to the door for easy access when I walk in the room, it is close to the door so I can turn it on immediately when the room is dark. Light switches come in many different shapes and sizes, and styles. The light switch plate in my room is brushed silver..."
When you try this yourself, initially you will probably stammer over your own words. You may find it difficult at first to speak about a random item quickly and succinctly without going "blank". The exercise – if you are having fun, will make you laugh because you might feel a little silly. Good for you! But you’ll probably need to practice yourself in order to perfect your ability to facilitate your child in rapid fire improvisation. This is the perfect opportunity for you to practice getting good at this exercise WITH your child. Enjoy yourselves with the process steps of this activity. Lighten up.
I suggest you do 2 or 3 improvisation exercises with your child to start, increasing the number of items or things as you go along. Introduce a video or computer camera later in the process after you and your child are relaxed with the exercise. “Catch” your child being brilliant! Encourage them to have fun.
STRATEGY 5
Write “A Bit” about your child for use in school, camp, yard duty, church/synagogue and more!
Example: “A Bit About Taylor - A Bit About Autism”
Create 3-4 page synopsis about your child that in a flash, will convey salient facts to another person about your child. You will write this in bullet form with points that are easy to read and understand. This “tool”, is made ready for a new or substitute teacher, a new respite provider, babysitter, camp counselor, faith program facilitator, etc. It will help them understand your child in the 3-4 minutes it takes them to read the pages. I call this “A Bit About Taylor, A Bit About Autism.
“A Bit” is never more than 4 pages, or you will lose your reader. This short narrative tells a person just meeting your child enough about them to kick start the relationship. Better than an IEP, because it’s what I call “potty reading”, you will find that caregivers, teachers, substitute teachers, camp counselors, the physician or psychologist will benefit from reading “A Bit”.
Suggestions for writing “A Bit”:
· -Be specific
· -Use Bullets – easier to read
· -Stay off the “story” and keep to concrete examples
· -Emphasize equally but honestly positive strengths and weaknesses or struggles
· -Be brief – think short attention span
The following example was written by me when Taylor was 15.
SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1A Bit About Taylor
Taylor is 15 years old. Like most 15 year-olds, enjoys computers, video games, movies, music and going to the mall. What’s a bit different about Taylor is his diagnosis of High Functioning Autism.
Below you will find information about high functioning autism – not to be confused with Rain Man - or the stereotypical notion of an isolated, non-verbal, behaviorally challenged child. This is not my son at all. Taylor’s “brand”, or type of autism looks something like this:
Perseveration: Taylor may stay on the same subject of interest to him beyond the normal give and take conversation. He may want, for example, to talk about a particular roller coaster he went on (or would like to go on) with some repetition. Though he can read faces and is somewhat aware of people’s emotions around him, it may never occur to him that someone is bored with the conversation and wants to talk about something else.
Uneven Conversation: He may use words incorrectly in a sentence, and the listener may say to themselves “what is he talking about?” He does have a wonderful vocabulary and is very conversant, his manner of speaking, however, can be a little bit odd.
Routines or Plans are very important: Taylor gets something in his mind; a plan, an order to the event; a particular time-frame, etc., and he needs to follow-through with what is in his mind. If the plan changes, he will need a prompt – a warning – perhaps several to know that things have changed. For example, if the structure of an outing has changed, someone needs to say “Taylor, things have changed. (Tell him why); this is the new game plan (tell him the new plan); this is how we’re going to do it (let him know the rules, and then have him repeat it back to you (mirroring). This will help to ease his transition more smoothly.
Taylor is not very athletic: Taylor has very low muscle tone in his upper and lower body. Though he’s a very tall boy, his endurance is not great. I’d like to see him encouraged to be more active. Role modeling in this area is great!
Taylor is very bright; intelligent; and overall easy-going: One should not mistake autism for meaning a lack of intelligence. Taylor is very bright. He’s funny and curious; and
asks questions about all sorts of things.
Sometimes Taylor may appear to be ignoring you... When this occurs, it is not because he is being rude or impolite. Rather he is most likely not processing your words because his brain is focused on something else. It is a good idea to make sure he is looking at you when you need his attention for something, and again, have him mirror back the words or meaning of your request or statement.
When Taylor is angry or frustrated... He will tend to cry; get red in the face or clench his hands and shake them. He is not a violent person, but I will say that because of his size, his frustration or anger can appear to be intimidating. If he is in distress, it is a good idea to give him some space and time to cycle through and calm down. He is usually pretty quick to calm and turn his frustration around. Letting him know that you hear his concern or problem is helpful.
Taylor was diagnosed with “high functioning autism” though it may appear to look similar to Aspbergers which you may have hear about. The main difference between HFA and AS is that a child diagnosed with HFA had delayed speech as a young child. A child with Asbergers had normally developing speech. Otherwise they can present in similar ways
What is Aspergers Syndrome?
Individuals with High Functioning Autism or Aspergers Syndrome and related disorders exhibit serious deficiencies in social and communication skills. They often have obsessive repetitive routines and preoccupations with a particular subject. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naiveté, those with AS are often viewed by their peers as odd, and are frequently a target for bullying.
What are the characteristics of these disorders?
Children with these diagnoses exhibit serious and chronic social, behavioral and communicative impairments. Not every child is the same but some characteristics may be:
· Socially awkward and clumsy in relations with other children and/or adults
· naive and gullible
· often unaware of others' feelings
· unable to carry on a "give and take" conversation
· easily upset by changes in routines and transitions
· literal in speech and understanding
· overly sensitive to loud sounds, lights or odors
· fixated on one subject or object
· physically awkward in sports
They may have:
· unusually accurate memory for details
· sleeping or eating problems
· trouble understanding things they have heard or read
· inappropriate body language or facial expression
· unusual speech patterns (repetitive and/or irrelevant remarks)
· stilted, formal manner of speaking
· unusually loud, high or monotonous voice
· tendency to rock, fidget or pace while concentrating
The most commonly used diagnostic terms include:
· Asperger Syndrome
· High-Functioning Autism
· Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)
· Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
· Atypical PDD
· Autistic
THESE DIFFERENT LABELS CAN CAUSE MUCH CONFUSION
They can sometimes make it difficult for both parents and professionals
to access appropriate help and information.
Note: If your child has cerebral palsy or mental retardation, for example, write “a bit” about the diagnosis or dual diagnosis he has. Don’t assume that everybody knows the hallmark attributes of any given disability.
VALUE ADDED…
Watch portions of my films on You Tube for free! Search words:
Normal People Scare Me, a film about autism
The Sandwich Kid, a film about “siblings”
ARTS with Keri Bowers, a film about possibilities, disabilities & the arts
Good luck in getting started on your child’s Mapping!
For private consultations to support your Mapping you can email me at keri@normalfilms.com
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